 Posted by Erin Boehme, Dandelions teacher
Can you remember a time when you felt mostly free? You might think back to childhood, possibly a time when you were outside, on your own, far far away from all the adults? (or maybe in reality just in the backyard or field?) Children need solitude just like adults. Solitude gifts us all the opportunity to process emotions, imagine new possibilities, reflect on our relationships with others, and in fact, solitude enhances our ability to feel empathy and improves our social skills. Children need to "feel" alone, left to their own imagination, left to feel themselves, not under the supervision of an adult. This is a time they will feel truly free. In this time, children will be experiencing emotions that they have no context to understand. They will be picking up on the adults sense of hyperawareness and the collective consciousness of anxiety, uncertainty and, significantly, grief. They are likely also feeling a sense of calm and joy in having their parents home with them all day, every day. All these changes are confusing, yet, with the gift of solitude, they can build the skills needed to process and cope with these emotions in a healthy way. How do you give your child solitude? - Be a model. Show your child that taking some time to yourself is to be respected and desired. Spend some time on your own, you might go on a walk, go to your sit spot or just be on the porch, just enjoy it, your child will understand. -Allow your child to feel like they are wandering off in a safe space outdoors. You can behave as if your distracted and not watching them, but you can follow at a safe distance and tend them from afar. Avoid interacting with them. Allow them to "feel" alone. Trust them. Use your super stealth parent spy skills! Spending time in their room alone, is good, but being outside is different....Why? When we experience the sense of solitude outdoors, we are not alone. With the lack of stimulation from other humans, we pick up on the immense life that is all around us. We are capable of switching our awareness to the vast sky and the tiny ants. We find ourselves in the web of life. We find ourselves internally. This is where your child will really begin to know themselves. Mother Earth is our home, she's bigger than anything we can touch, hold or feel. When emotions are bigger than we can hold, Mama Earth holds them for us. Out on the land is where we build those connections to empathy, trust, wonder, gratitude and the true nature of our purpose. We all know this, because we have each been overwhelmed at some point in our lives and have turned to the sky, the mountains, a bird, a plant, the sunset, the stars or the sea to guide us inward. Children are connected beings, they need to stay connected. Giving them solitude in nature is one of the best parenting skills you can rely on. Let go of being a supervisor and become a ninja parent with super spy skills...you might find yourself in a state of solitude while your at it. ;) Posted by Heather Young, Water Striders teacher
Sing of the earth and sky, sing of our lovely planet, sing of the low and high, of fossils locked in granite. Sing of the strange, the known, the secrets that surround us, sing of the wonders shown, and wonders still around us. --Aileen Fisher Take a walk either alone or with your child. As you walk slowly along try singing or humming in response to what you are noticing around you. Your song can be a tune with or without words. Open up all of your senses and notice what you feel inside of your own body as you perceive the shapes, textures, colors, smells, sounds and sensations of your surroundings. Aboriginal creation myths tell of creator-beings who wandered over the continent in the Dreamtime, singing out the names of everything that crossed their path - birds, animals, plants, rocks, waterholes; singing the world into existence. As simple as it is, when we sing or hum a known or improvised tune, we participate in ancient medicine. Modern science now confirms what humans have intuited all along, that no matter our age or culture, singing is one of the best ways to help ourselves feel better.  When you need some time to yourself:
Pro-tip #1 Remember the audio story links we sent in Issue #1. Your children will love hearing the same few stories every day, or every other day for longer than you might imagine. When you need the best toys ever: Pro-tip #2 Give your children an old pot, pan, or bowl, and a spoon and let them play in the dirt with some water. Mud kitchen is likely to allow for great periods of creative, sustained play. *Don’t have an outdoor space for this kind of play? Try filling the sink with a little bit of soapy water and pushing a sturdy chair or step stool up to the sink. Give them a few unbreakable dishes to play with in the sink. A Story to read aloud...
Shining Shell, by Connie Manson © 2012 In the ocean blue, near the shore, the waves rolled this-a way, and they rolled that a-way. A sea shell tumbled and tossed in the water. It rolled and rolled and then came to a stop on the sandy ocean bottom. The sun was shining brightly up above, and little rays of sunshine danced in the water. A tiny blue fish came darting by, swimming up and swimming down, and looking all around. It saw the sea shell lying there. It looked to be as big as a smooth, shining palace! It swam up to the sea shell and called “Shining shell, shining shell, who dwells here?” But no one answered, because no one was inside. “Then I shall live here,” it said, and it made a cozy home inside the shell. Along came goldie the fish. It saw the sea shell and called out, “Shining shell, shining shell, who dwells here?” “I do, tiny blue, oh-so-true, and who are you?” “I am goldie the fish, who darts and dips.” “Come inside, and make yourself a home here.” And so the two of them began to live together. After a time, a little starfish came crawling by. It saw the sea shell and called out, “Shining shell, shining shell, who dwells here?” “I do, goldie the fish, who darts and dips.” “I do, tiny blue, oh-so-true, and who are you?” “I am sandy the starfish who carries a wish.” “Come inside, and make yourself a home here.” And so the three of them began to live together. Along came a sea turtle, paddling by. He saw the sea shell and called out, “Shining shell, shining shell, who dwells here?” “I do, sandy the starfish who carries a wish.” “I do, goldie the fish, who darts and dips.” “I do, tiny blue, oh-so-true, and who are you?” “I am snappy the turtle who paddles and flips.” “Come inside, and make yourself a home here.” And so the four of them began to live together. Suddenly before them darted a little sea horse. He was in a great hurry. He saw the sea shell and cried, “I am horse of the sea, please rescue me, for an octopus, he chases me!” “Let’s bring him inside--a shelter we’ll be!” Little horse of the sea was safely tucked inside. The octopus came gliding by. He looked this-a-way, he looked that-a-way. But nothing could he spy, save a shining shell that sat nearby. Said the octopus, “How could that creature disappear so fast?” Oh-so-quietly the little friends sat, until at last, the octopus went gliding away. And from that day on, the little friends lived ever safe and sound, in their shining home on the sandy ground.  Posted by Lia Grippo
Creating a nature table in your home can become a source of beauty, reverence, awe for the whole family. A nature table helps us to maintain connections with the greater natural world within our homes. Items gathered while wandering and exploring become touchstones for memories of our adventures, they deepen our awareness of the rhythms of life in the natural world, and offer enrichment for our children’s play and sensory experiences within the home. Setting the Table Find a small table, shelf, or other space at child’s eye level This can even be a box turned upside down and covered with cloth A large space isn’t necessary (less is more). In fact a smaller space will be easier to tend. Choose a spot where the family can see it, where it can become a source of rest for the eyes and the heart. Simplicity is Key Cover the nature table with a beautiful cloth A scarf, table cloth, piece of clothing, pillow case or sheet, etc. Feel free to use more than one cloth to add richness. Make it Beautiful Your loving tending will signal to your children that this is a special place. Place found “treasures” from walks in nature, in the neighborhood, or around the home on your nature table. Keep it Fresh Add cut flowers, branches of blooming trees, etc. to the table. (items that will require intermittent tending keep the space fresh and engaging) You and/or your children can make small items to add to it For example, your child might make a grass nest and fill it with items that remind them of eggs Your child might want to add a drawing of a beloved, bird, animal, or plant. Feel free to add a small animal toy or two if you wish Let the Imagination be the Guide Posted by Lia Grippo
Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. ~ Rumi In all times, young children take emotional cues from their caregivers and their environment. You might have seen this when your child falls down and looks at you before deciding whether they should, cry, laugh, or shrug it off and keep going. They are looking to us for meaning and context. In times like these, this inborn need to imitate is fully engaged. Our children can feel that there is tension, anxiety, and fear in the air. Unable to see the big picture (they are simply not mature enough to do so for a good number of years to come), they simply absorb the mood of their environment. While we might like very much to protect them from these feelings entirely, knowing they are not ready or able to carry the burdens, we can not do so completely. The grief and anxiety is simply too pervasive. What, then, shall we do to care for their tender feelings in this time? Can you remember a time when you had a good deal of stress built up inside you and you picked an argument with someone you loved? The feelings you were releasing probably had nothing to do with the topic you argued over. You simply needed an eruption, a space where grief and tension could find an avenue of release. Our children will do just this. They may seem to “overreact” to a very minor injury (physical or emotional). They may push against a limit you have set, in a way that feels as if they are poking at you repeatedly. They might try to exert inflexible and unyielding control over a situation that seems extreme and unusual to you. These scenarios, and others that have a similar feeling, are often our child’s attempts to find a strong enough boundary, or container if you will, that allows their grief movement. Grief that doesn’t find avenues of release “leaks” out in tense and unpleasant interactions, adding tension to an already challenging situation. But what do we do when our children show signs of grief? The first and most important thing we need to help our children navigate these powerful feelings is to cultivate and show loving compassion. The second is to avoid trying to “make” our children feel happy. Everyone has a right, and indeed a need, to feel unhappy at times. In our attempts to help our children not feel sad, we are giving the message that feeling sad or frustrated isn’t acceptable. However, successful attempts at appeasing or distracting our child from expressing these feelings does nothing to make the feelings themselves go away, rather they go underground, erupting in ways both unexpected and confusing for parent and child. When you feel your child is exhibiting these signs of stress, allowing them to cry is often the kindest thing we can do. Sometimes, we must hold a boundary, lovingly and firmly, to give them the opportunity to cry. Sometimes, we must simply get out of the way when a big cry begins. Allow yourself to sit quietly near your child when the cry comes and cultivate your own calm and compassion. You need not, and ought not, let them hurt you or themselves, but even this must be done with as few words as possible. They might throw themselves to the ground, belly down, and kick and thrash about. This is healthy. Young children are very good at letting their whole body get in on the grief release. As long as everyone is physically safe, let them do this. There will likely come a time where they will want to continue crying in your arms and/or lap. Let them. You will feel their body soften and quiet. Allow yourself to remain in quiet presence even then. Sometimes, after a restful pause, more tears will come. Sometimes, your child will signal they are done for now by bringing up a topic of conversation or getting up and beginning to do something different. Follow their lead. If they are done, let them be done. There is no need to discuss this further. What about us parents? This can be hard for us, especially if we ourselves did not grow up with the freedom to feel our grief openly. It can also feel hard when we ourselves are not having the solitude and space to express our own feelings of grief, anxiety, and frustration because we are with our children without respite and without our accustomed external supports. Be aware of how grief shows up in you. Do you retreat into yourself, becoming quiet and withdrawn? Do you become short tempered about things that would otherwise elicit a different response? Do you feel the urge to move your body intensely? There are so many ways our bodies signal the need for release and we must come to know ourselves. You are likely having these feelings come up, but aren’t able to give them expression throughout the day, because there is simply so much to tend. You may find yourself having to set your own feelings aside, even the ones stirred by your child’s release of grief. When you can find space for them, here are some suggestions for helping oneself to access those feelings again and give them expression.
I will leave you with the words of the great poet, Pablo Neruda, “… And here am I, budding among the ruins with only sorrow to bite on, as if weeping were a seed and I the earth’s only furrow.”  Posted by Anne McCarthy, Cattails teacher
Where would a fairy like to live? What does a gnome need to feel at home? Dedicating a spot in your yard (or in a natural area you visit frequently, if a yard is not available) as a place where your child can construct a fairy or gnome home, has many benefits:
There are no rules to building fairy houses, no right or wrong way. They’re all different, and interesting in their own way. Some might be tall, others underground… You might be surprised what your child will come up with. So get out there and start building (you might even want to make one yourself, who knows?) Posted by Erin Boehme, Dandelions teacher
Hey Parents, after your kids are tucked into their beds, ha ha ha... ;) Really, try to sneak out onto the porch or in the yard and sit quietly for 10-15 or maybe 20 minutes. We call this,"sit spot" and it's really a magical thing to do. When sit spot becomes a part of your daily rhythm, like making coffee or checking email, we promise this practice will reward you with many gifts. Take a deep breath, put away your busy thoughts (just make an appointment to go back to them later) and open your awareness to what is around you in the present moment. Put on your owl eyes, what can you see? Put on your deer ears, what can you hear? What can you smell? Does the air have a scent, a taste? Maybe you'll discover where the birds are going to roost for the night or notice how colors blend into darkness? We are limiting and sanitizing many of our contact and senses at this time, and we must, but nature is still our friend. Outside, take those deep breaths and let go of tending everything. Just be, just for 10 min. You have permission.  What to do to keep indoor play from getting stale
Pro Tip#1 Tuck away all but a few play things and store them in a closet or garage. When you see your children tire of something that has been out, take it out of rotation and bring one new thing out of storage. Pro Tip#2 Give your children a bed sheet to play with. Watch their imagination soar! Add a scarf or 2 if you wish. If you need any specific survival tips, feel free to email us, we got your back! |
AuthorWild Roots staff authors include Erin Boehme, Lia Grippo, CJ Cintas, Anne McCarthy, Tyler Starbard, Jenn Sepulveda, Heather Young, Amalia Smith Hale, Natalia Pareja... Archives
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